34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE INDIE LITMAG DIGITAL & PRINT

Maybe I’d be okay.

KOYAANISQATSI BY ANAMYN TUROWSKI 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 66 READ NOW

I woke calling out for mommy. Not Mom, of course, but a mother who seemed so real, so tender, with her arms spread wide, inviting me to her. I rolled onto my side and hugged myself in hard, and remembered back to the day in Malibu.  I swam out beyond the breakers and let the ocean hold me. I floated. Maybe I’d be okay.

He still loved Mom and only her.

THE INJURY BY SUNSHINE BARBITO 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 66

My dad was a famous rock star. People literally clawed at one another to get to him, he signed guitars and posters and still loved Mom and only her until the accident, the injury. And now this is his life. Married to some kid who can’t do anything right.

He has to hurry to catch a plane.

PASSPORT PHOTO  BY ROY BENTLEY 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 66


That was the summer I learned what loss is—

a father coming into the kitchen and squatting

to explain to a nine-year-old son he needs to leave. 

And saying he has to hurry to catch a plane. 


I reconstruct now the keepsake photograph:

black and white, signed. His passport photo. 

A square of flat-top haircut and man-face, 

which he handed off into my small palm. 


I didn’t know the nature of happiness 

is such you grab it and hold on. Through

this life and the next since light as passport

moment is always being placed in our hands.


I learned it with his leaving or maybe it came 

later when I looked and saw what he’d left me.


34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 66

KOYAANISQATSI BY ANAMYN TUROWSKI, MATCH.COM® BY CLARA JONES, POUR NOTRE DAME DE PARIS EN FEU BY DAVID LITWACK, OVERNIGHT ADVENTURE BY TIAARA ANDERSON, THE INJURY BY SUNSHINE BARBITO, RIVER BABBLE BY JULIUS FERRARO, PASSPORT PHOTO BY ROY BENTLEY, THE LAST BEST HOPE BY MICHAEL WASHBURN.