Come on Janny, like me. I just want your country to like me.
YAWN HATES ME BY SE DIAMOND 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 03
Jan hates me. He has thin blond hair tied into a ponytail, and his name is pronounced yawn—not like the American girl’s name Jan. Our Czech Foreign Relations class has just ended and it’s Friday. This is Jan’s country, but class is in English. I’m not smart or dedicated enough to learn a second language, but I have money and I’ll pay to sit in their classrooms as long as they teach in my language. At first I thought Jan hated me because our professor Dr Hasek likes me so much. All the kids in class (American, British, Luxembourgian, and Czech) get annoyed with my enthusiasm for Czech history.
Jan, like the other Czechs, doesn’t approve of us American kids because our study abroad program is easy stupidy stuff. Our class is a joke, not like real European universities, where the students have to fight for the few coveted spots. He has a point though; I would never attend an Economics University in the US. Jan says it’s a waste for students like me to go abroad for only one semester. He says that’s not enough time. I try and show him how smart I am. I’m always correcting his English and talking about my favorite American television shows. Maybe he’s just a mean person.
“Na Sled, Jan.” I smile and suck in my cheeks as I say good day to him. Come on Janny, like me. I just want your country to like me.
34TH PARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 03
THE DANGER YOU KNOW BY GEOFF KIRSCH, TEARS BEFORE THEY FALL BY WILLIAM FALO, YAWN HATES ME BY SE DIAMOND, OF QUICKSAND MATS BY ASHLEY COWGER, ON HOLD IN ZIHUA BY STEVE HICKS, OCCUPATION BY WINDY LYNN HARRIS, THE TEA PARTY BY MICHAEL ERNEST SWEET, CHOP SUEY BY KATHLEEN J STOWE, EXTREME IMAGES BY MOSTAFA MOFTAH, WRITING STARS BY MICHAEL SWEET, TIME WITH FRIEDA BY ARLENE ANG, ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY BY JASON HUSKEY, MYSPACE JESUS BY SHANA KRAYNAK, CAMOUFLAGE BY SARAH E AZIZI, MOVING BY MATT MULLINS, WATERS BY CP STEWART, UNLIKELY SONNET BY DAVE MORRISON, YESTERDAY BY ASHLIEGH GEHL.